Do we enroll him in the daycare or not ?

Sometimes this question hides the fear of exposing the little one to experiences that are not suitable for his growth phase, or to a separation trauma. Research tells us instead that the daycare is an important resource for both the child and the family.

Anna is 2 years old and is looked after by a babysitter, «a splendid lady who takes care of her with attention and kindness», says her mother, «also organizing a series of activities with other children in the playroom and park, almost all the days". Anna's father insists that the little girl attend daycare, arguing that she needs to spend more time with her peers, do more structured activities and acquire greater independence. At home we discuss what to do: is childcare really an opportunity for development for a child ?

Francesco and Laura agree to enroll their child in daycare, but wonder when is the best time to do it. Laura will go back to work when the baby is 7 and a half months old: is it better to start the introduction a little earlier, when the mother is still at home? Or delay a few months, entrusting the baby to the grandparents ?

On the subject of enrollment in daycare, there are many questions and are often accompanied by fears and concerns. Let's try to clarify things to help parents experience moments of separation from their child with serenity.

An instinctive sense of protection

There are many emotions at play, including the fear of being able to expose your child to experiences that are not suited to his growth phase, or to trauma and suffering due to separation. All of this is understandable: we are talking about very young children, whose needs are not easy to understand and who arouse in us an instinctive sense of protection. Furthermore, in many cases, entry to the daycare is not a free choice: it is often linked to the mother returning to work and, at times, it is conditioned by the absence of family members who can take care of the child. In these cases the emotional load, often accompanied by a sense of guilt, insecurity, jealousy towards the educators, makes the decision even more difficult.

Daycare, grandparents or babysitter ?

Research tells us that the “best” formula is quality daycare associated with quality family time. We know well how important it is for the child, in the first years of life, to spend his days close to caregivers, with whom to create a good attachment relationship that will constitute his "secure base" for growing and exploring reality. On the other hand it is true that the "wealth" of that time also has a positive influence on the development of the child, which must be dedicated to activities that encourage interaction between adult and child (to be clear, not in front of cartoons or the iPads!).

The same goes for childcare services. Not all daycares are the same, and what makes the difference for the growth of the child is the quality of the offer, in its many elements: environment, spaces, furnishings, materials, staff training and experience, relationships with the family, project pedagogical.

choosing time to enroll child in daycare

when should i enroll my child in daycare

The benefits of the nest

Comparing the time spent with caregivers with that offered by the daycare does not make much sense, because they are substantially different experiences. Attending the daycare offers the child the opportunity to experiment in an external but "protected" context; this does not mean diminishing the fundamental relationships with parents and family members that characterized his first months of life, but enriching them with new resources.

The experiences that the child can have in a quality childcare are different from those at home: in the daycare, the environment is designed and equipped according to the child; even though, as attentive parents, we can organize the house to be "child-friendly", we will hardly have the opportunity to offer our child a space in which he can move so freely, experiment with sensory-type activities, experience the natural environment in the ever more frequent outdoor education proposals, learn "by doing" with materials suitable for its growth and so on. Even more evident are the aspects related to the possibilities of socialisation, play, sharing, language, affective and relational life with other children and with educators as significant adults.

Research has highlighted how family care and daycare should not be alternatives but complementary. In order for this to happen, however, the choice of daycare must consider the specific characteristics of each child and each family, as well as the services available in the area.

When to start ?

The ideal age would be between one and a half and 2 years of age, when the little ones have acquired a basic maturation (physical, cognitive, emotional, relational) which allows them to be able to enjoy the experience in all its aspects to the fullest. potential.

However, it is not possible to establish the "perfect" moment a priori, and it is rather necessary to evaluate the growth phase, the family needs, the lifestyle that the family leads in relation to the child.

Much also depends on the type of service offered: for children under the age of one, structures that welcome a few children in a comfortable and familiar space are more suitable (daycare, family daycare or home educational services), able to offer contact, affection, security, regularity in daily rhythms, as well as a stable reference figure.

The hours of attendance should also be adapted to each child: a few hours a day for babies of a few months, to be increased gradually if necessary. Often it is the parents' work needs that "decide" on what to do, and there are many children who spend almost the whole day at the daycare. In these cases it will be important, both for the child and for the parents, to make up for the time of detachment with physical and emotional care and contact.

The necessary alliance

The daycare is an important resource for the child and becomes even more so if the service offered and the family environment can benefit from each other.

Parents, helped in their task by the qualified observations of the educational staff, will be able to find in the constant dialogue with the latter the answer to questions and concerns on "what is best" for their child, on how to personalize the daycare experience and manage the changes that the little one will have to face.