A difficult daycare initiation, tips for overcoming it

The baby is always crying, refusing to eat or not sleeping. These are all effects that can occur if we go to daycare. We asked for some advice to manage the detachment well and live this moment serenely.


The moment so dreamed of (but also dreaded) by many parents has arrived: registration for daycare. Although you have prepared yourself extensively for this stage, it may happen that the child experiences it badly. A difficult nesting can be recognized: indeed, it can happen that the little one cries all the time, that he stops eating or that he does not sleep.


We asked our expert early childhood educators for advice. The most important point is to understand that the moment of insertion does not only involve the child, but the whole family as a whole. This means that the more serene the adults are, the easier it will be for the little one to metabolize this moment.

Tips and Tricks for Overcoming Difficult Initiation to Daycare

1. How long should arming last?


There is no standard period or duration. The purpose of the placement is to ensure that the child, but also his family, trusts the environment of the daycare and the educators. Sometimes seven days can be enough, sometimes it takes a little longer.


2. How to properly manage secondment?


It is important that the little one is prepared for this stage. From the days before the insertion, it is good to talk to him about the fact that he will go to kindergarten and tell him what he is going to do, telling him that there will be other children with whom he can play and describe the environment in which it will be inserted. It's good to make him understand that we trust this place and that we know that he will be fine there.


In preparation for this moment, it is useful to play the game of hide and seek. This will be a way to make the child understand that the parent goes away, then comes back.


Another important point is not to disappear: The child must see his mom and dad go away: it's wrong to run away without his knowledge. This does not mean that it is simple, but we must try to speak to the little ones, telling them that we understand the effort they are making, but reassuring them that we are sure that they will be happy in this place we have chosen for them.


When they come home, it's good that they tell you what they did during the day. If the children do not yet know how to speak, it may be the mother or the father who takes up the conversation, perhaps by looking at the kindergarten notebook and telling the little one that we have seen that he has played to this or that game, activity... In essence, it is important for the child to understand that this part of the day he spends in kindergarten interests us and is in our thoughts even if we are not with him.

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3. What if the baby cries?


Children, especially younger ones, communicate by crying.
And during daycare, crying is a normal phenomenon. It's tiring, but it shouldn't be blocked.


Instead, it's incorrect to offer them a reward to stop them crying. The best thing is to communicate to them that for the moment being in kindergarten is tiring for them, but that they will be fine afterwards and that we know it because we have chosen this place especially for them, knowing that it is the right one.


4. What if he does not eat?


Difficult initiation into kindergarten can also lead to refusal of food by the child. Even then, it is important to remain calm. After all, we never eat with complete strangers either: give them time.


It can be useful, if kindergarten gives us the opportunity, to sometimes stay for lunch. If the little one sees that his parents also eat the food from the nursery, he will be more inclined to think that it is good food and he too will eat it more easily.


If food refusal occurs at home, the important thing is not to give it too much weight. He may not be hungry or struggling. The best strategy is to leave the child alone, who will surely resume eating normally when he is calmer.


5. What if he does not sleep?


Also in this case, it is important not to lose peace of mind and wait for the passage of kindergarten to be metabolized. The less one worries, the more the child will have the possibility of feeling well and resuming his normal routine.

6. What can dad do?


Right now, dad has an extremely important role: to help mom detach herself from the baby. If he assumes part of this effort, it will be easier for everyone to pass kindergarten. A good idea is to be present during the insertion to facilitate the moment of detachment between the mother and the child.


However, there are also cases where it is the father who finds it difficult to separate from his son. In general, therefore, it is good for both parents to understand who is more sensitive and calm and that they help each other to better manage this transition.


7. What is the role of educators?


Educators have a very delicate and difficult task: They must ensure that the family and the child trust them. To achieve this goal, they must have a welcoming attitude, towards the child but also towards the parents, trying to reassure and support them in this critical moment for them too.

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8. When to pick up the child from kindergarten?


Many mothers wonder if it is right to insist, even if the nursery placement becomes disastrous.
There are very few cases in which it is recommended to change course and seek a babysitter or the support of grandparents. Most often, it is enough to communicate his serenity to the little one and things will work out in some time. However, if the situation were to be more complicated, a good strategy is to talk to the educators and discuss with them to decide together what to do.